Patented Weight Loss Program

I started my patented weight loss program yesterday, and am having second thoughts about it this afternoon. If I wear my waistcoat around all the time, I'll lose weight! The waistcoat is covered by one or more patents, so I call it my patented weight loss program. I may start wearing it every other day, until I get a little more used to it, then go back to wearing it every day. It is one of the newer technology "lighter weight" systems, and only weighs about thirty or forty pounds. There are some of the guys here who claim theirs weighs upwards of sixty pounds. In case anyone isn't familiar with what a waistcoat is, it is a vest. I'll give you three guesses, as to what kind of waistcoat they give me to wear over here.

I also would like to add my supervisor told me if I needed to sleep somewhere other than my cheesebox because a roommate might think they have to have it waaaaay too warm, I should be able to find a cot out here. That way, I could sleep inside the bunker, instead of on top of it, and be able to stay cool, and keep everyone happy all at the same time. He also said if I had any problems with billeting, to let him know, and he could probably take care of any problems with them.